It's been a while since I've written in here, and I have to admit it's not because I haven't had the chance. Rather, several times I have sat down to give you all the news, and have decided against it because the mood wasn't right. The mood still isn't right, but if this is indeed to let you all know what life is like down here for me, then it should include the bad times with the good.
The truth is, this period of the semester started out fabulously. I don't know what happened, but something clicked and all of a sudden it was a social paradise! I was hanging out with a lot of Chileans my age - we went to an asado with a group of buddies, to the march en el Día de los Trabajadores, to grab some chelas (be
ers), dancing, all sorts of things. And the amazing part for me was that the language wasn't a stress factor. For that first week I was just existing and not worrying about the words coming out of my mouth because they just seemed to be coming. It was like our Spanish teacher said the first day - our learning process is like an upside-down pyramid that you're filling with sand. At first it fills up very quickly, but thenthe higher it gets the slower it goes. Sometimes you don't even notice that it's filling up. I just realized that I've slowly been pouring sand into this upside-down brain of mine. Now the pendulum has swung back. Oh well.
ers), dancing, all sorts of things. And the amazing part for me was that the language wasn't a stress factor. For that first week I was just existing and not worrying about the words coming out of my mouth because they just seemed to be coming. It was like our Spanish teacher said the first day - our learning process is like an upside-down pyramid that you're filling with sand. At first it fills up very quickly, but thenthe higher it gets the slower it goes. Sometimes you don't even notice that it's filling up. I just realized that I've slowly been pouring sand into this upside-down brain of mine. Now the pendulum has swung back. Oh well.The march was really amazing. Protests in the States have a lot to learn from Latin American manifestations. Banners, flags, vendors, live music, performance art, cheers, chants, costumes, and over seventeen thou
sand people. It was the first time ever - even in the States - where I felt really comfortable and passionate about being in the march. Many times in the States I feel like the demonstrations are too partisan, and it puts me on edge. Here there is no sense of separation entre the groups, but more an overwhelming sense of community power. This march was probably a little more so too because it was to honor and protest the situation of the workers of Chile, who are in a bit of a tight spot at the moment. Hence, very strong emotions and a lot of community involvement. Our Chilean buddy Tomás told us before hand that there was a distinct point in wihch the march got violent (last year was pret
ty horrendous) and that when he told us to leave, no questions were to be asked. He gave us the signal when Illi Illuminati went off the stage, and five minutes later we were seating ourselves in a cafe watching on TV the police terrorize protestors with their tanks of tear gas. Good timing, I'd say.
sand people. It was the first time ever - even in the States - where I felt really comfortable and passionate about being in the march. Many times in the States I feel like the demonstrations are too partisan, and it puts me on edge. Here there is no sense of separation entre the groups, but more an overwhelming sense of community power. This march was probably a little more so too because it was to honor and protest the situation of the workers of Chile, who are in a bit of a tight spot at the moment. Hence, very strong emotions and a lot of community involvement. Our Chilean buddy Tomás told us before hand that there was a distinct point in wihch the march got violent (last year was pret
ty horrendous) and that when he told us to leave, no questions were to be asked. He gave us the signal when Illi Illuminati went off the stage, and five minutes later we were seating ourselves in a cafe watching on TV the police terrorize protestors with their tanks of tear gas. Good timing, I'd say. Going to the march, listening to the talks, chatting up people all served to push me a little further down the road to declaring myself Socialist. That actually makes me feel good too, because I've never felt comfortable saying I'm a Democrat. This slow-growing revelation stems from something that I've realized since being here - that so much of my thoughts and prejudices I didn't know I had have their origen in the fact that I am Estadounidenses. For example, Communists are not bad people. Anarquists are not always violent (actually, I agree with a lot of their ideals). Globalizacion is not the great thing it's cracked up to be. A lot of concepts (mainly political, gotta say) have crossed my mind and challenged me to pick them back and look again, to examine where my emotions are coming from. Tomorrow I'm going to meet some of the Communist youth to solicit their help. I'm going to chat them up on their beliefs, naturally. When else will I get the chance to talk to someone so proudly and clandestinely Communist? Certainly not in Pittsboro.
My project started off really well - I read a lot of theory to get a good base on it and it really opened up my eyes to a lot of elements of the theme that I hadn't thought of before. Now I think it's going to change again, but my current question is how the parties/supporters of the left use graffiti as a means of provoking or strengthening social educacion and awareness en today's society. Underneath that, of course, is an analysis of informal and non formal education and how graffiti fulfills the role of communicacion. All with a focus on leftist parties. Which I thought was going to be cool, because I could chat up the Juventud Comunista, el Partido 
Socialista, la Fuerza Anarquista, etc. Except, oh wait, I'm just a foreign student asking them for contacts of people who do illegal activities. Whoops.
Socialista, la Fuerza Anarquista, etc. Except, oh wait, I'm just a foreign student asking them for contacts of people who do illegal activities. Whoops.(If there's another protest, I'm talking to them this time... This is stenciling, and there are some pretty fantastic ones around the city.)
That's where it gets frustrating. I didn't meet with my advisor until Tuesday, and he didn't help me out at all with this aspect of my project (or really with the structure at all, just gave me books on the brigades and told me we'll visit some this weekend). So I just don't know what to do with myself this week and have been sitting around a lot. I went into the city to talk with some people about graffiti, and it's just really freaking hard. Hard enough to approach strangers happy with their day in your own language. I actually met someone last night who was in the middle of spraying and got to talk to him for a while, but being as tontosa as I am I was so excited about meeting him I forgot to get contact info. Great job, right Abi?
It's just been a tough week. As if it's not bad enough to be two months away 
from my family and all of my closest friends, the switch to the independent project meant that, wait, what is this? My closest friends are leaving? So now the people in whom I always confided in South America are now beyond reach. That and having nothing to do give me lots of time to think about the over two months that I still have left (which is really amazing, but at the same time not.) Insult to injury is that I hit it off with a guy last week and things were awesome, but I'm awkward, and this other girl was funny. Same in all languages, I guess.
from my family and all of my closest friends, the switch to the independent project meant that, wait, what is this? My closest friends are leaving? So now the people in whom I always confided in South America are now beyond reach. That and having nothing to do give me lots of time to think about the over two months that I still have left (which is really amazing, but at the same time not.) Insult to injury is that I hit it off with a guy last week and things were awesome, but I'm awkward, and this other girl was funny. Same in all languages, I guess.OK, I'm being overly pessimistic. It's really not horrible. I've been spending a lot of time with my family, and my Spanish with them is definitely improving. I've realized that I'm pretty bad at talking whenever I'm in a situation that typically makes me nervous or uncomfortable (new people, confrontation, yadayada). I've also realized that I'm almost a whole different person. I can't joke in Spanish, nor can I tell stories without stumbling over every conjugation, and I just don't talk very much. But this will all change, I'm hoping. My Chilena mom almost go
t abducted by aliens. That came from an amazing night of conversation.
t abducted by aliens. That came from an amazing night of conversation.I think I need to get away from the city. You couldn't see the mountains this morning because of all the smog.
We had a delicious dinner at my house this past Saturday that was a ton of fun. Tomás and David joined the SIT girls in Santiago for a grand old time, which was followed by a missed concert (my brother's, the huevon told me the wrong time), pool, a party with my brother's friends, dancing at a club where some friends work, then continued dancing in somebody's apartment that had an amazing view of the city. I got home about twenty minutes before Lorena got up. Whoa. Here's Tomás with the delicious fideos and chicken that we whipped up, complete with palta salad!
Last night was Debra's 21st birthday, and I finally got sushi. oh man. It was about time! I haven't had the staple raw fish of my diet in forever, and I'll be damned if this wasn't the best sushi I've ever had. Also followed by so
me beers and spontaneous dancing on the way home. Got home at five. Shoot me? But it was definitely a good birthday. We figured out weird things we can do with our bodies. Here are David and Debra being pregnant. I've got to say it doesn't surprise that the girl is better... She's sitting up straight, btw. That girl is amazing. We also had spontaneous singings of the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. Not only do Chileans singing in English crack me up, but it's so much better when they do it to such classically great music.
me beers and spontaneous dancing on the way home. Got home at five. Shoot me? But it was definitely a good birthday. We figured out weird things we can do with our bodies. Here are David and Debra being pregnant. I've got to say it doesn't surprise that the girl is better... She's sitting up straight, btw. That girl is amazing. We also had spontaneous singings of the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. Not only do Chileans singing in English crack me up, but it's so much better when they do it to such classically great music.I also bought a bicycle. Ceeeeelebrate good times, oh yeah! I'm so glad to not have to use TranSantiago anymore, and now I have something I can escape on when I really need it. Except I don't have it yet, since I bought it off the Chilean CraigsList, and the woman hasn't called me back yet. Soon! Soon! No hallo las horas!
Entonces... Here is your update. Pessimistic, cynical, and dry. Not quite so eloquent as usual, but that's just the way the words are coming today. Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure, but I wouldn't want to deprive you of this side of things either. Most of the bad emotions come from the possibilities that I can see and my inability to realize them. So there are definitely worse things that can happen.
I miss you all and wish you all the sunniest of days in this, the beginning of summer! (lucky) I'm sure I'll be home before I know it, with all of you wonderful people, and then I'll be wishing I was back here! Swing on those Haw River ropes for me, sleep late, and maybe watch a sunset in the Appalachians. I love you all dearly! Have a fabulous weekend..
PS - We've had four somewhat major tremors in the past two days... does this in any way mean a big one's on the way? (crossed fingers)
3 comments:
Abiface,
Goodness, I miss you. Sounds like you're having the same doubts as me, in many respects. We'll keep it up and do just fine though, I'm almost positive. Miss you mucho, un beso,
Lface
when i looked at the first pictured, i almost thought that the the ropes and bloody noses were from the riot police, i was kinda worried.....but either way stay safe bud, cya in july :)
Hey, you're not alone...it's really tough to be away from everything you've ever known. Stick it out, put on a smile, and dance some. You'll feel better.
You're amazing, abby.
-zac
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