Salí en la noche...

Things have definitely started looking up.

First of all, I have something muy bacán and utterly awesome to tell you, but I'm going to wait until the end so you have to read the whole entry! bwajajaja

I realized that one of the main things that was getting me down and angry was my project. Now, this is completely rational because I have a very difficult project to achieve and my consejero is useless. Was - now I have no consejero. But that's a different story. So last Thursday I spent nearly the entire day just sitting and thinking about my research and what I've found out, what I think, what the books have said... And I figured out that I have some very strong opinions about graffiti and political art that were getting in my way. Once I discarded these prejudices, my work started to flow much more easily and the connections started clicking into place. While I am not happy at all to be writing a paper that is contrary to my own opinions, I guess that's one of the disadvantages (benefits?) of doing research in the field. You're always being challenged.


Another thing that made that one week awful is that I had a huge case of the awkwards. They went away, as much as they ever can with me.

Friday night Marguerite came over and we watched some strange Helen Hunt movie with my mom until she fell asleep, knitting still in her hands. It was good to sit and relax and just feel comfortable there for a while. When everyone you're with is either a new friend or doesn't really understand you, that good old I-can-walk-around-in-the-morning-and-not-care-if-my-hair-looks-funky feeling is rare. While sipping wine from coffee mugs and chatting on my floor, my brosef races in, races out, and invites us to a university party. University parties here, by the way, are like a big house party of ours. All your buddies are there, people are walking around with boxes of wine or beer or whatever, they're smoking... except it's usually in a big courtyard or a huge awesome room, with cool lights and a great DJ all night. And I'm talking from 11 to about 5. So they're rocking. Margs and I danced like madwomen! They played salsa, so naturally. I also got to hang out with my brother (I almost got him to dance, even) and we met a bunch of his buddies. Afterwards, we went to La Bamba with Tomás. Guys, hate to say it, but I have found better end-of-the-night food than Cosmic. These things are huge - they're called AS, and they're real beef, fresh tomatoes, avocado, mayo, and ahí. ooommmmyyyggoooooddd. delicious.


Saturday I celebrated Mother's Day with my fam here, and afterwards we went apartment shopping. It was really fun. Besides the fact that my family rocks all around, I really felt like a part of it all. They were asking me what I thought, and in every blueprint it was "my room, your room Cristobal, and this one for Abi when she comes to live with us." All in all a very good, relaxing day.


We cooked again on Saturday, this time in Elizabeth's house, and we opted for good old hamburgers. With avocado. Naturally. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, all of the girls together laughing and joking and talking about how frustrating all of our projects are. We've started voicing aloud thoughts and ruminations about project direction. It's amazing how much simply putting something out into words instead of on paper can help you get it all organized, especially now when we've all got tons of information and no method to channel it all down. Margs and I went and played on a playground afterward. Awesome.


There is no way for me to express how much I love my group. Each day or week brings a new dynamic into it all, or some incredibly development. I can't believe that in a little over two weeks I'm going to be leaving most of them. I refuse to think about it. Every single one of them has their own gifts and their own contributions to who we are now. There was one person at the beginning that always bugged me. It got to the point at times where I would move at a table so I wouldn't get too irritated and disrupt the evening because she was next to me. Then I got over myself. I realized there was no point in being that was with someone who is comfortable with who they are, and that I should stop being so judgemental and give her more of a shot. She still has habits that grate me, but now it's just a part of who she is, and they don't bother me so much. She's got a lot of insight and amazing aspects to her as well, and I was blinded to that. I want to tell her the effect that she's had on me because of this, and how much she has helped me with my project, but how do you walk up to someone and say "You used to annoy the crap out of me, but now I think you're wicked cool." It doesn't happen.


Sunday we had an asado. (social heaven, no?) We cooked up some pizzas, watched the Matrix 3, played circus games and sang pop songs. (This is why we love Chilean boys - not only do they like to impersonate boy bands, they also like to sing along to them.) After lots of hanging out and kind of soupy brownies, we decided to go dancing at Maestra Vida, a dance club that has free salsa on Sunday nights from 11 to 3. Perfect! That was really incredible, especially since two of the guys we were with are quite possibly the best dancers I have ever had the pleasure of moving to the beat with. Here we have, from the left, David, Niko, ?(shoot)?, Kevin, and Alejandro.


Monday started swift. Went in to Casa SIT to get some work done and had a contact handed to me by Rossanna. Went that afternoon (poor, dangerous neighborhood at dusk. Yikes. My colectivo driver was named Oscar and wore this incredible old felt hat, wizard glasses, and a salt and pepper beard. We chatted like old buddies the whole ride, and he wouldn't let me pay him. Incredible people are everwhere.) and the woman gave me another contact and some good information. Next day I went back to Casa SIT to get some more work done, and Rossanna handed me another contact. Went that afternoon to meet with him, and ended up with an hour-long interview of quality talking. That I understood in total. More contacts. Something very excited that you're still waiting to hear about. Pumped!


Watched Spiderman 3 in Niko's house, which is really a hostel that he lives in by himself. Whoa.


(Here's a picture of us after the marathon carrete last weekend... David's face pretty much shows how we all felt after dancing until 6:30 in the morning: delirious and Dali. These are hte two really incredible dancers - David and Abel.)


Wednesday I went back to La Legua to meet with this other guy, and he never showed. Bummed. But I spent some time while waiting talking to this incredible store owner right next door who lives above her tienda and is working hard to pay her kids' ways through college, which is a rare thing if you come from a neighborhood like this one. She talked to me about the work of the youth in the community, radiating pride at the strong values and communal spirit they all shared, and assuring me that nothing would happen to me in this neighborhood. When I left she gave me a big kiss and told me to come back and see her. Again, incredible people everywhere.


Wednesday I also had an interview with this old Communist who sells earrings on the street, and who is really quite interesting and involved in the cultural side of Santiago. We ended up having a bit of an argument about the purpose and effect of graffiti and political expression in general, and it was pretty fun. He also talked to me a lot about how Santiaguenses always go to hotels to have sex, and how the women are much more demanding now, and how Italian women are even more demanding, and oh when he was in Italy! ...That was a little uncomfortable.


(Here's a picture from Debra's birthday with, from left, Debra, David, Alejandro, Santiago, Theresa, Jorge, me, and Lauren. It was cold. I am not normally Babushka.)


Thursday was awesome. My project is finally organized in my head, and is just waiting the last bits of real-time and observation. Margs and I went to Bravissimo and got the special, two flavors in a bath of chocolate, for the price of one flavor. I wonder why I'm getting fat. My brother and I spent some time chilling together when I got back... I'm really going to miss that kid. I feel like I don't know anything about him sometimes, but at other's like I know exactly what he's thinking. Not to mention he's one of the most caring people I've ever met.


Now, are you finally ready for this muy bacán and incredibly awesome thing? Last night I went out in the darkness to paint with one of the brigades. Paste, really. I went out with Chacon, who are responsible for the many huge poiltical banners that call for governmental responsibility and social involvement and leftist ideas. They're everywhere, and I've always wondered how they got there, who does it, blah blah. Well, it's five people who spend the week working their jobs and living their lives, and painting banners on the side. Everything Thursday night they take all of these banners, a mixture of soda caustica and flour, and they go out pasting. It's almost just like you would imagine... a small group of people in dark clothes and hats crammed into an old beat up truck, buckets of paste in the back and the banners under the seat. You pull around into a corner, everyone hops out and is in action. Glue, glue, glue (with rollers), guy comes behind with the banner, hands up brush up get that stuff smoothed down don't tear it almost done and we're walking away. Get into the truck, on to the next, joking and talking about your wives or girlfriends or the webon that didn't show up last week or the march next Monday. All of the banners are pasted in the center of the city, and it was only around 11 so there were people still up. We pasted one on a major road, turned around at the finish to see lots of cars stopped at a red light staring at us, and a packed bus stop of blank and somewhat confused faces. And we just walk away. Social change in the making. We had two people come up to us - the first to declare that he fought against Pinochet, and what were we trying to accomplish? How could this do anything? What was the point? I was confused about that because it seems like he would recognize it's pretty much the only way for a leftist party to make their views heard, seeing as there is no representation in the government. The other was a young guy begging to know how Chacon does it, and if they can help his banner group get off the ground. When the cops drive by, you just start walking away. It was a great night. Sometimes it felt like a game, like what we were doing wasn't real, or that it was something we do to fill a role, like what Marguerite was saying yesterday. Like this is just what the Communist party does, they go out, they paste their banners (we ran into another section of the PC pasting too), and then the banners get ripped down. But a very cool experience. It's very interesting to know that an operation that appears so large and covers so much of the city, that so many people see, is really just five guys working out of a basement.

Marguerite and I are now inspired to paint a mural on the uncomfortable white walls of the institute. We're thinking something inspired by Reading Rainbow - bright colors and a butterfly. Te parece?


Two more weeks... It's hard to imagine. This has been such a formative time in my life, and is a place (physically, emotionally, mentally) that I'm not sure I want to leave. The people, Chilean and EEUU, the places, the lifestyle, the language... I'm going to miss it all. And it's not like I get to see all my buddies at home after this. Oh no. It's simply another beginning. In three weeks' time I'm going to be a free woman, roaming South America with just the pack on my back. I'm really excited for that too, except right now we don't have plane tickets to Peru, or a plan of where we're going, or any idea whatsoever of where we're going to sleep. I guess that will all come when we need it the most. Hopefully. It's hard to plan when Kira and the others who are going to Peru are all in Buenos Aires, busy with their lives, and me busy with mine. Wow, time flies.


I'll leave you all with this characteristically long entry... I have work to do that I haven't been doing for several days now. I love you all, and hope that your summers are well on their way to being memorable!